I don't really write in here very much, but it's about that time to update what's been going on. I think the last time I wrote was like, March. A lot has happened. I've been working at a restaraunt for like 5 months now. It's been more than I ever imagined this type of job could be. I've learned more about how to relate to people in a few months of waiting tables than I ever did in 4 years of college. I wasn't expecting to learn and change so much in such a short amount of time. I was honestly unaware that my personality could be so maleable. I'm now comfortable explaining something or joking in front of a group of total strangers, and I've gotten better at making someone feel like they are known and welcomed even if I don't know jack squat about their life. I never used to be like that growing up. I also never felt the need to convince somebody that they needed a piece of strawberry cheescake, and now I do it with ease every day. I find this so amusing.
I never thought I could be as full of life as I am these days. It's truly miraculous the way God has healed me and filled me with such joy and peace. For so many years I have been incessantly depressed and irritable and generally unwilling to let people know who I am. All I've ever wanted my whole life is for people to just leave me alone and stop talking to me because it's always been an exhausting and inconvenient expenditure of willpower and energy to share the slightest thoughts/feelings with other people. I can honestly say that's not who I am anymore, not even close. I want to wake up early with the sun and share my life with people every day because its no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. I can't believe someone as ordinary as me could be so blessed. I want to write more about this, but it's time to let the day end. Maybe I'll be back on here tomorrow.
